It is parallel -
how we relate in the inner world
will be how we relate in the outer
My name is Agnieszka Kochanowicz and you can call me Aga or Agnes.
I offer empathy, compassion, curiosity, openness and commitment which are important in my practice. I believe that every action, feeling, thought or belief we have, without judging what and how it is, expresses our striving to meet the most important needs and reveals to us places that need help. I work in line with my values, and I am supported in this by the three most important approaches - IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy, Non-violent Communication (NVC), and the Polyvagal Theory. The assumptions of these approaches and their practical dimension give me the broadest picture of who we are and where the difficulties come from. I am ready to support anyone who wants to heal past wounds and live with full responsibility for life.
Each of us has experienced something difficult in life. Each of us has our own or inherited trauma, which affects life in the present. The effects of trauma can be very different, they can affect the body and health, self-esteem, the ability to build relationships, coping with feelings, stress and self-regulation, or even struggling with an addiction or disorder, which I understand as a set of symptoms in a given moment. These effects are only a starting point, an invitation to reach the source from which these difficulties or blockages in life originate. I encourage and invite you to see what is happening in you as a call for help, and not as a judgment of who you are.
If you want to know a few facts about me, I am a psychologist (2006), trainer (2007), and an IFS practitioner / therapist (2020). I am also trained in needs-based coaching (2019). For many years I have supported children in their development in kindergartens (2008-2016) and early intervention centers in Poland (2006-2007, 2014-2018). I helped children with special needs to express themselves and parents to understand and communicate with their children. I also worked with human rights and global education in Poland and abroad, which brought me about 10 years of involvement in non-governmental organizations and volunteering. All these experiences confirm my way of supporting other people, directly and indirectly.
In 2018, I moved with my family to Denmark, where I run my own practice. In 2023 our life's wanderings took us to Vanuatu where I work online or in person in Port Vila.
Photo by Gabriela Pytlik
"Show me what you don't love, so that I know where to start". This quote says what I invite you to do. What you do not love, accept or what you hide can be the starting point and I aim to help you in the process of getting to know it. There is a part of you behind it, your experience, and a story, and I am here to help you understand and accept it. We all have parts that contain emotions, beliefs, or reactions that we don't like. Me too. Recognizing this is the beginning of a journey to your own well-being and harmony. Therapy is the process of transforming, healing, and integrating all parts that were once rejected, misunderstood, or hidden. I call this process "coming back home"; the inner, safe and loving one.
IFS therapy in person or online
The Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is a way to understand your internal system and help it transform and heal. IFS is an evidence-based method that is based on the principle of a multiple mind and the belief that there is a resourceful Self at the core of every person. In the process, accessing and working with that Self is a safe, effective way to heal other, hurt parts of the mind and the body.
My role as an IFS therapist is to guide you and help to separate yourself from your parts and access the Self because the Self can connect with each part and heal it. This allows the parts to let go of their extreme or destructive roles and enter into harmonious cooperation with the Self. In the therapeutic process, you connect with the parts and lead internal dialogues with my support. There are a few types of parts that hold important roles. Parts that seem to be in protective, managerial roles are called ‘Managers’. ‘Exiles’ are those parts that carry the emotions, memories, or body sensations from the experiences of being hurt, humiliated, ashamed, or frightened in the past. Another group of parts activates whenever one of the exiles may overwhelm you with its extreme feelings or make you vulnerable to being hurt again. Those parts are called ‘Firefighters’.
I am sure you have experienced moments of inner dialogue with your critical or perfectionist part or you had dialogues having a dilemma - that are the examples of our parts. All parts are good, valuable, and have a positive intention even though we can perceive them as our enemies because the effect of their roles can be addictions, depression, anxiety, stress, eating disorders, etc. IFS is a non-pathologizing approach, that sees "disorders" as a manifestation of extreme roles of some parts, with a huge trauma behind.
It is very important to recognize, accept and work with all the various parts, rather than ignore, fight, judge or try to get rid of them. This approach leads to building a positive relationship with all your parts and to bring more calmness, clarity and harmony into your life - inside and outside.
IFS therapy costs 700-1000 DKK for a session. One session is around 60 minutes.
The price is given in the price range, which means that the price is set individually between us. There are two reasons why I put price range to give you a choice how much you want or can pay. I want to make psychological support inclusive and more available for people who can not access support from the health care system, especially. Secondly, I want to show you that honesty and trust are important to me, so you get it from me at the very beginning and you can decide about the price knowing better your situation and possibilities.
For people interested in IFS online or in-person therapy outside Denmark, the price will be set individually, based on the country of living and personal circumstances.
You can use the contact form or write an email to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Due to my temporary move out of Denmark, I offer online sessions mainly. Sessions online are provided via zoom platform. For in-person meetings in Port Vila you can contact me by phone +6785510201.
© 2019 Agnieszka Kochanowicz